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Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2002 6:16 pm
She's way not cool....
Sorry to hear dude...better you catch that sort of thing now before you invest too much of your life. Write it off as a learning experience and move on, it's all you can do. Just try not to let her sucker you back, she did it once , she'll do it again. Good luck, dude.....peace!
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2002 1:26 pm
lol....ooooooh yea! :) (n/t)
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2002 1:20 pm
Sorry about your wife.
But even more sorry about your friend. Its a double edged knife when its with someone you know personally.
After my bike accident, my gf dumped me shortly afterwards while I was laid up with the broken hip. She almost instantly starts seeing her old bf. So I do a little more digging, and find out they had been screwing around behind my back for 3-4 months before my accident.
Of course, I had already suspected something was going on for about a month or two before hand, but had no proof.
And you're right, the best thing to do is to get as far away from them as possible. Don't give either of them your new address or phone number.
My ex in Boulder was the main reason why I moved back to Canada then back here to NYC. I felt betrayed. And being nearly killed, and feeling completely prone, for her to dump me when I needed support the most was just too much.
And guess what. I talked to her for a couple minutes last summer when I was in town, and she told me she was mad at me for leaving, and not calling her when I made it back to NYC. The gall.
But as soon as you get some space between you, everything will slowly start falling back into place. Hell, this is the perfect time of year to ride around the CU Campus on a bike. Get yourself two or three new playthings.
Good luck man,
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2002 12:35 pm
thx john, email me this wknd if you wanna grab a beer (n/t)
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2002 12:25 pm
Re: Bad Bad News
Sympathies, Scott--nothing but sympathy. Happened to me, too.
Now that we've drifted completely off the topic of the board. Here's a million dollar's worth of advice... absolutely free to anyone who's been in this situation from somebody who's been through it:
1. Go to your doctor (there "reduced cost" clinics), explain what's happened, and ask for every possible series of tests that they can think of--STDs, AIDS, everything. Even if your significant other swears that he/she doesn't have anything, don't believe 'em (they've already proven they aren't trustworthy).
2. Cut your losses. Abandon all contact--EVERYTHING, PERMANENTLY. Get what you NEED and get away. Dragging out the end of a relationship where there are bad feelings will always be worse that the temporary heartache of "quitting, cold turkey." Remember: "He who fights and runs away can run away another day."
3. I hope you're a beer drinker. I'll buy ya' one (or two) if I don't get called out of town this weekend--ever been to "PT's"? Good place for beer... =-)
4. I'll bet everybody here thought that I was just some inconsiderate, uncaring, self-centered, heartless prick. Didn't ya?
Now, back on topic:
If you ride, make sure you do it when your mind is clear--if you're distracted on a bike, you won't see that cage with your name on it. (Again: Experience).
Oh, one more thing I just thought of (on the board topic, of course--I'm trying to distract you)--You mentioned wanting to remove the decals from your bike. The FAQ is right, use a hairdryer or something to warm them up, and they'll peel right off. I followed that advice and did the sides and tail this weekend... someday I'll do the lower and the tank.
Now, I need to see if I can get some cool "H.M.S. Beagle" stickers to put on the tail.
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2002 12:01 pm
Thankyou for all your input. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. To be honest, when I think of how horrible of a person she for doing such a thing it make me feel better knowing I'm not like that and would never do that to someone.
On a better note...Everything I own and want is in my name..lol
, we have no kids, and the outragous car payment is in her name...LOL. And I get the BIG screen! You know I gotta have that. Any who...Thx again
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2002 11:48 am
I don't know you, so all I can say is I'm sorry to hear that. I have not been in a situation like that myself.
HOpe things will work out. It is a rather complex thing.
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2002 11:37 am
well ain't that a shot in the pills... I've had my share of grief in that regard - wouldn't wish it on anyone. Best I can offer is a chin up, ride your bike and move on...
Dave - nYc
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2002 10:53 am
Keep your chin up - keep busy - and you will get through this.
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2002 10:43 am
Re: Bad Bad News
Sorry to hear it. It takes some courage to go ahead and admit that you have been taken advantage of, I think it is a sign you will heal quickly. I agree with the advice about moving on. Once trust is broken I think it is near impossible to rebuild. If the other person has taken that final step and cheated it means that the possibility of rebuilding the relationship is over.
Hopefully, you don't have kids and can make a clean break. Enjoy being single and do whatever the fuck you want just 'cause you can.
Oh and don't take her back no matter what. It won't work. (From experience.) Go find someone better.
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2002 10:30 am
Re: Bad Bad News
moving on would be what I'd do to....
to be honest, I have never met a guy or gal that cheated once and never did it again...once you let someone get away with something, they will continue to do it....
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2002 10:04 am
Re: Bad Bad News
That my friend is the hardest part. You love the person so much that you'll forgive and forget as easy as 1-2-3 but in reality you can never trust them again so the best thing is to move on. I just want out of the house and far away from that B*t#h.
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2002 9:58 am
sorry to hear about your news
I am really sorry to hear about your wife and your friend. That is terrible news and I am sure you are going through a lot of emotions right now (similar thing happened to me a few years ago, so I can empathize). You'll have to forgive me for this but seeing that I am a mental health counselor, I hope you will allow those emotions to surface, experience them, not ignore them, and then move on. Easiest and quickest way to get through a grief cycle. And I am glad to hear that your denver trip is still on. Good diversion and time to think and a nice break!!
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2002 9:56 am
Re: Bad Bad News
that really sucks....nothing worse than being cheated, never happend to me cause I'm such a stud...umm right....anyhow I could imagine how much it would suck....
Are you going to try and work it out or are you gonna dump her ass?
If my girlfirend/wife would cheat on me, there would be like 0 chance I could ever trust her again, and what's a loving relationship with trust?
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2002 9:43 am
Bad Bad News
Well everyone, I havent been on for a few days because of some news I received Friday. I found out my wife has been cheating on me. You can only imagine what I'm going through right now. She said they never did anything...riiiiight and he's married and has a kid. BTW he's a friend of mine from her work.
The good news is....I'm getting on with my life and the denver trip is still in effect for August. I have my own bigger place still in the city and everyone(as long as I can fit you) is more than welcome to crash there.
Anyways I look forward to seeing everyone who makes it out and I'll see you then.
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